Filipino Culture

August 28, 2014 by feyma

Thinking differently!!!

A few days ago I went to Nicole’s classmates house. I went there to ask some questions from the mother of her classmate. I guess one day last week Nicole had no class because the class coordinator had some meeting to attend to. He told his students that they can go to school the next day, just go to the other section and stay there for the class, but they’re not obliged to do it. Just a few students showed up at all. One of them was Nicole, our youngest daughter. Well, I guess instead of attending the class Nicole our daughter and her classmates decided that they would rather go to one of their classmates house, whose house was just walking distance from the school.

Nicole with DJ

The problem on that situation. We have rules in the house that whenever the kids go somewhere they have to inform us where they will be going. That’s why everyone in the house has cell phone. If cell phone is dead, they can go to the office in school to call from their land line phone there to our phone in the house. Or use a pay phone. So Nicole had a problem, she went somewhere and she did not inform us. So a few days ago I went to the house where Nicole went. I want to know the parents of that kid and we want them knowing us too. Nicole can also invite classmates to our house sometimes, but we want the parents’ approval.

So when we went to the house (me, my niece and Nicole). I asked to see the mom of Nicole’s classmate. I guess she went somewhere and would be back in a short while, which she did after awhile. The person there at the house was the grandmother. I guess she usually takes care of the kids sometimes since they were living in the same house. She could tell on my face that I had some concerned. Just then the mom showed up. So I talked to the mom in-front of the grandmother. Honestly they’re nice people but we just had different views in life. When I told them about my concern for Nicole. My statement: “Just asking did Nicole come here a few days ago? My husband and I don’t have problem with our kids going to their classmates house, only thing they have to inform us and let us know where they’re going to and whose house and who are the people in the house? Also is it okay for the parents for them to be there?”. The reply of the grandmother to me – “it’s okay they came here no problem since its just a walking distance from school anyway. Also they’re just kids they want to hang out where they want to hang out.” I told her it’s not okay for us. Nicole has to inform us first before going anywhere. She has to follow what she was told.

The mom of Nicole’s classmate told me that her daughter did the same thing. Went to her classmate without permission. She said they had to close their shop (store) to get their daughter. I told her the concern that she’s feeling when her daughter went without asking her, that’s how Bob & I felt. So I know she understood how Bob & I reacted. But I could tell that the grandmother thinks that I over reacted. I felt she thinks that I should let Nicole go somewhere without telling us since she’s just hanging out with her friends. I told her anything could happened on the way to there house. Nicole could have an accident while walking there. So many jeepneys passing by on the way to there house. I continue on telling her that Nicole is 10 years old. We will guide her and show her that being a concerned parent show her that we love her so much. To be honest Bob and I will continue what the rules we have here in the house.

I’ve seen parents here let their kids be out late at night during school days. Bob & I don’t want our kids (that goes to school) to be partying or hanging out with their friends during weekdays. Our students here at the house have a curfew. Our 2 teens (Aaron & Jean) now are allowed to hang out during night time with their friends during weekdays here at the house as long as they toned down their voices when our other kids (the students) are in bed.

Like Bob told me after talking what happened. We don’t give rules to other kids. But we let our kids know that we have rules to be followed here in the house. It’s just simple and easy. We let them go somewhere with their friends as long as we know where their going. Bob & I even encouraged them to bring their friends here at home. Sometimes they eat dinner here. No problem. We know the feeling, we’ve been students before too.

Anyway, Nicole knows now that she has to follow the rules and she learned her lesson. I think. Hopefully she will not be influenced by her friends. We don’t want to be too strict too.

August 21, 2014 by feyma

A simple and important reminder!

I am writing here just a bit of a reminder to the anyone (foreigners or Filipinos that live abroad for a long time) that wanted to retire here in the Philippines. When we moved back here Bob and I had already been coming here many times for a visit. Bob’s been to some 5 star hotels and to lower end hotels here in Manila, Cebu, Davao, and GenSan. And, of course to my family’s house. Bugs and cockroach and mice were pretty much present in all of these places here in the Philippines. So seeing those critters was not really new to him. Bob doesn’t like it but we can’t just let those bugs spoil our vacation here. All those bugs are pretty common to majority of the households here in the Philippines. So don’t be surprised upon seeing one. I will tell you guys some of our experiences from before and after moving here:

One time when were visiting here with Chris and Aaron. Between the two boys, Aaron was the one having a hard time seeing flies around my mom’s house. We came here during fruit season. So many flies flying then. He’s always carrying bug spray with him around the house. Just for a few days he was ready to head home to the States.

Butiki – A Philippine House Lizard

Then there was one time when Bob’s mom came here for the first time to visit. She stayed with us. She’s staying in one of the bedrooms at our house. After she said goodnight to us and she went to bed just like minutes after she was screaming at the top of her lungs. My gosh, all of us were jumping out of bed and running towards her room. She pointed to the culprit – my gosh a 2 inch lizard on the ceiling. It was funny for us but really looking at mom it really terrified her. So Bob just explained to her that here in the tropics expect those kind of things. She understands but no more sleeping in the dark, she has to have a night light during night time to know whats creeping in during her sleep. LOL

One of our vacation here that was in 1994, our visit for my dad’s first death anniversary. Bob and I promised my mom that we would be here in the Philippines for that since I was unable to come home for his funeral. When we came for a visit, our last lay over was in Cebu. And in Cebu, Bob and I usually stayed in Montebello Villa Hotel. We arrived so late in the night and our flight the next morning was really early. So the taxi driver was recommending these hotels in Mactan area. Bob told him that we really want Montebello because it’s nice and we’re used to that hotel already. The taxi driver said oh the hotel here in Mactan it’s nice too, the only difference with Montebello, they don’t have a swimming pool. We then agreed with him and headed to the hotel that the taxi driver recommended. Let me tell you, its not the same and can’t even compare. But we’re so exhausted and so tired to get out. Plus, Chris was sick already, he had fever ever since our flight from Hawaii. So Bob ordered room service, as soon as the food was brought inside our room after the waiter left, we could hear some noises on our roof. Bob and I just stare at each other and observed. Boy, as the food stayed in the room longer the more the noises were getting louder. My God as if the rats were having fiesta on our ceiling. You know what none of us touched the food. We just put the food outside our door and just went to bed. The rats went quiet after the food was gone from our room. We’re too tired to think about it. We had to sleep or we might miss our flight the next morning.

Just try to visit the public market here. You will see rats as big as the cat running around. I’m sure lots of cockroaches crawling around and flies buzzing around too. That’s just the way it is here in the tropics. I wished to God it was changed a lifetime ago, but it’s not. But this is the tropics we have to deal with it. You know what I mean? Think a thousand times before moving to the place that you’re not familiar with. So that you will not be sorry later.

***Hey don’t take me wrong we also have areas that’s clean too. If you’re a clean freak try shopping your food at the high end malls. Always have pest control services in your house and let them check every corner of your house.***

—- “Don’t be scared, exterminate them”—–

August 14, 2014 by feyma

The new update on my old post here!

A little over 2 years ago I posted a story (The unexpected company) of these 2 young girls named Arnie & Irish who were at our gate asking for our recyclable plastic bottles. My kids not only gave them the plastic bottles, they also fed those kids. We even brought those kids to the dentist. So lucky that we have a very generous dentist named Dr. Lourdes.

Anyway, a month or two ago my kids and my niece told me that the mom of Arnie & Irish had another baby. I just said “really”? To be honest what can I say. Arnie the oldest girl was kind of embarrassed seeing my kids and that they had another baby. But Irish was the talker and blabbed about they had a brand new baby. When my kids asked them where’s their mom? Irish said that their mom was working again to be a laundry lady not long after giving birth. She has to help the husband make some money. The husband’s job, he gathers plastic bottles and cardboard boxes for recycle and sells them.

Arnie & Irish

A week or so ago. I was outside with my kids. We were cleaning our front yard cutting the grass in front. The oldest brother of Arnie came to us. He knows that we don’t know him. He really introduced himself that he was the older brother of Arnie & Irish. He told us that he is getting the fish in the canal in our area. So we asked him are you guys eating those fish? He said “NO”, he is selling those to like owners of a coi pond.

Really seeing him really makes us miss those 2 girls. Arnie really is embarrassed to swing by at our house now after their father got mad at their mom. He was so jealous that his wife comes home just a little after dark to finish up her laundry job here at the house. He was accusing his wife of having somebody. It was getting ridiculous that I told the mom of those kids to tell the husband that “She will not be working here if he had job to support them”. Honestly I don’t even need her here at the house. I already had a laundry lady, but I just want to give her a job instead of handing her the money.

I don’t think the oldest kid is in school now. They used to be in school before. But I think their kids now had to help their parents make money and take care of the younger siblings. Some people here let their kids even the 9 year old kid take care of the younger siblings at that age. The parents sometimes will ask the neighbor to keep an eye on their kids while they go to work. Lucky for our laundry lady, she had her parents and siblings near her house that her mom takes care of her kids while she’s working for us or her other jobs.

I’m still hoping for the best for Arnie & Irish family. Hopefully at the end they will just move to the province since the mom’s family had a small farm land there anyway. I think the wife wants to move but the husband likes to live in the city. In my opinion it will be good for them to be there and they will grow their own food. Crossing my finger.

August 7, 2014 by feyma

A personal note!

I’m writing and sharing about our personal life story of Bob and myself. It’s almost time for our 24th year wedding anniversary. I was just pondering what to write this week, and it hits me while getting something in Bob’s wallet. He wants me to check on something for him and I had to get his id (driver’s license). Something fell out of his wallet, it was behind his driver’s license. When I picked it up, I remembered that Bob had his reminder of our first meeting.

“It’s his boarding pass from his flight from Manila to Cebu” to meet me for the first time.

Bob’s Boarding Pass from Manila to Cebu – July 26, 1990

Wow, as I was staring at the boarding pass, its just so worn out. It showed the time that it stayed in Bob’s wallet. It was there for 24 years already. No matter how many times Bob changed wallets over the course of our marriage that boarding pass remained in his wallet. Looking at it as if it’s just nothing but for Bob it’s really important to him. For me; It really showed how he loved and valued me. For the kids; They think it’s a sweet gesture of their dad to their mom. It will be in that wallet forever, I’m pretty sure of that.

I gave Bob a Tagalog-English dictionary upon meeting him for the first time. I was thinking at that time that he should learn the Tagalog instead of Bisaya since Tagalog is taught in school and spoken in the main island. He still has that dictionary and he lets the kids use it for school. They had to promise that they will take care of it. Really, Bob rarely opened that dictionary since my parents never spoken to him in Tagalog. At that time it’s hard to find a Bisaya- English dictionary or Bisaya-Tagalog-English dictionary unlike now that they’re all over bookstore and the internet. So thankful now that he did learn our local dialect. So proud of him for that.

I was graduating in college when I met him. Bob gave me a Sony Walkman when we first met. One of our regular phone conversation I was talking to him about my project with my classmates, it’s sound systems with bunch of LED’s and with walkman. It was really hectic schedule for me being graduating and with my on job training and the touring of the radio stations. My teachers were just happy that I made it through being the only girl in class out of 200 students.

I took 2 weeks off from school when Bob came. I talked to all my teachers that I would be in GenSan for the entire time. I took exams later when I get back from Gensan. My classmates didn’t know that I am marrying Bob. They just thought I went home to be with my parents. But my teachers they knew though. Luckily they didn’t make a big fuss about it. LOL.

To you my Wonderful Husband : Honey, Wow 24th year of marriage. I’m so grateful for your love for me and our kids. So happy for the time we’ve shared. Thank you too for being so kind to my parents before they passed, you really showed you loved them. Thank you for the wonderful years. We’ve been through a lot but we managed to be strong and talked it through. I love you so much. I thank God for you!!!

July 24, 2014 by feyma

Who to ask when moving here?

When moving here try to ask people that know a lot about the PI. I’ve been hearing lots of foreigners asking Filipinos abroad of what would they think of the Philippines now? To think a lot of those Pinoys that live abroad never been back here for ages. Then of course their opinions of the Philippines would be the time when they left.

Just like when I was there that’s over 20 years ago. Many Pinays that I knew there had different opinions of the Philippines. Some that wanted to retire here had the positive attitudes. Others really hated even visiting here. Some even made bad comments even though they’ve never been back since going there. It used to irritate me when they made not so true comments about Mindanao. And the one that’s bad mouthing she’s never been to Mindanao in the first place. To be honest the people that bad mouthing about the Philippines are really the Filipinos. Even the Filipino people that live here, they still talk against the other place other than the place they’re residing. As if it’s the competition of every place.

At Starbucks with Michael and Malcolm

Like me I’m originally from Sarangani Province. To be honest I love my place, only thing it’s not really the place for our family right now. Maybe later in time. When we first arrived here, we settled in GenSan. We liked it there. During the time we just arrived here too many bombings happening in GenSan. Really it didn’t last long for that, now the place is booming. I highly recommend for expat to stay there too. So many malls were built there for the past 5 years. The place really improved a lot.

To be honest I highly recommend living here in Mindanao. There’s just certain area here that I will not recommend. I’m pretty sure you can find that immediately on the internet where that place be. Bob went to those areas a while back. I will not recommend for any of you to go there if you don’t know anybody there or you had no good connections there (I mean people from higher places). It just happens that Bob was invited by somepeople there and was accompanied by a friend that had good connections. I’m pretty sure same thing if any of you will visit to any place here in the Philippines that you’re not familiar with. You will ask person that you know about the place.

If you had the desire to move here for good or part time try to ask the people (either Filipinos that used to lived a long time abroad and retires here and even an expats that lives here already for awhile). Also try to research the place that you want to retire here. With the power of the internet you can now find anything. If people tries to say negative things about the place try to ask around. Lots of write ups now regarding living here.

Today Bob and I met a couple (Malcolm & Jenny) that we’ve known on the internet for a long time. Jen is from Davao and Malcolm is from the UK. They’re really very nice people. They knew Bob through our website. They’re one of the couples that will constantly communicate with Bob. They also love Mindanao.

I hope that sometimes the not so nice opinions of my fellow kababayan will not deter you from retiring to any place here in the Philippines. I’m not saying it’s perfect here, it’s so far from it. Just as I always said here Please carry with you LOTS of “patience” everyday.

“The challenges ” its adds to more fun in living here in the Philippines!!!