Last week I was running some errands with my niece Glenda and my son Chris. We were gone for quite awhile. When the place we went to didn’t have the stuff we wanted we then head home.

As soon as we opened the gate I could see my kids and my other niece and our helpers were so busy talking. I can’t see what they were doing and busy about, so after opening the gate we went to the area where all of them were standing.

As soon as Jared and Jean saw me they immediately told me “Oh mom, here’s 2 young kids that are so hungry and no food in their house. We gave them something to eat and drink”.

Irish and Arnie

I was shocked that two little ones were walking on the streets without parents supervision or somebody. I then asked the older girl how old are they? She told me her name is Arnie and that she’s 9 years old (which looking at her size, she looks like a 5 year old girl to me). She continued on saying that her younger sister, her name is Irish and she’s 6 years old (which looks like 3 years old).

The older one is not too shy but more reserved. The younger one, she’s more giggly and friendly and not shy with the camera. They were going around our neighborhood to get some empty Coke bottles and other stuff that they can make money with. So my kids and niece told them that we they will be gathering our empty bottles and other stuff that we are not using to give it to them. They were ecstatic and so thankful.

Irish is really posing for the picture!

The older girl Arnie came by again at our house yesterday to pick up the empty bottles. So I got a chance to talk to her. I asked her where is her mom? She answered that her mom was out doing laundry with other people and was paid (not enough really to support the family). Her dad she said was just at the house watching the house. It really puzzled me that the dad just stays home and not looking for a job for him to feed his family. I was just quiet and really feeling sorry for the kids.  I asked her if she goes to school and did she already had some school supplies? She said yes, she’s going to school but they did not buy their school supplies yet. I asked her if she is saving the money that she will be making from the bottles for her school stuff? She said no, we are giving the money from the sale of the empty bottles to our mom to buy rice.

I hope they have a better life

Gosh, my heart just goes out to these girls. What can I say. My kids are gathering the extra school supplies that they have from last year and we have extra too when we went shopping a few days ago. Nicole had some stuff that she’s not using and fits perfect for Arnie. So at least they have some stuff.

Our yard guy brought some bananas for us. He brought a lot. So we gave some to Arnie for her and family to have for snacks. She had bottles and some other stuff on the bags that she’s carrying. We let her eat something first before sending her home. I even offered to pay for her fare but she declined. She said she will just walk home. We were really watching her, and I could tell my kids really like Arnie. I was telling Arnie to really try to study hard and work hard because that’s the only thing she will have to improve her life. I know lots of kids that live the same life as Arnie and Irish have live.

Really knowing the two kids now,  I’m hoping that someday they will have a better life. Praying for them for that.

A few days ago, we found out that our friend’s son died. His name is Jerard, he’s almost 5 years old. Ever since he was born he already had a problem. He had a twin brother who was born normal. My family and I first met Jerard and family of one of Bebe’s (Bob’s language teacher) kids birthday. I think Jerard was like a year old at that time. When we saw him, we could tell he really had problems. After talking to the parents, we found out that Jerard was blind and he also had hearing problems. We didn’t really ask to many questions because Jerard was fussy and needed to rest. We saw Jerard a few times after that.

Jerard was adopted by our friend. They are missionaries. We knew them of course from Bebe. They adopted the twins knowing that one of them had problems. They adopted Jerard and his brother when they were almost 2 months old. Jerard was born with a big head, I don’t know what his sickness called. The parents told us, but I forgot the medical term. I think as soon as he could  handle the surgery they had him undergo for the surgery to get rid of the fluids out from his head. I think he had a few surgeries over his life time. When we first saw him his head was still a bit bigger than normal. But the last time we saw him a few months ago his head was already in normal size. I just know that Jerard was sickly and he was in and out of the hospital through the mom’s post on her wall on Facebook. When she stopped posting I thought he was getting better. But we found out when we saw them at the wake that after going in and out in the hospital his health was deteriorating. They already knew that anytime he will be taken.

Seeing a childs casket is so sad

I really respect the parents that adopted him. You know they went through so much with Jerard. But they fully accepted it and showered so much love and support for him. The couple had 3 kids of their own. The ages ranges closely with my kids. The kids really loved the twin kids too. The youngest of the 3 really had a hard time. Seeing him at the funeral parlor crying a lot really is a heart breaking. He always goes to the casket, not sure if talking to Jerard or just really watching him. Bebe was helping them on how the Filipino way of dealing with the death in the family. They want to integrate the Filipino and American cultures. As you know in the Philippines the dead has to have somebody watching 24 hours (I mean no sleeping during wake). So a lot of the Filipino/American friends was there to help out. They had food there at the wake too. People were playing games there but not betting money. Just playing  for fun to avoid boredom and sleepiness.

I think if Jerard was not adopted by the couple and just stayed with the parents, I think Jerard was already gone a long time ago. I am not saying bad about the couple but they can’t afford to handle the expenses of a sickly kid and also expenses with taking care of the other kids. I found out that the mom of Jerard was sickly too. I think she passed on a long time a few years ago. I think they tried but just can’t handle the expenses of all the kids they had.

Our friends already almost got done with the adoption process. Hopefully the other one will officially be theirs soon. The twin brother is really a funny and giggly kid. He likes to talk to Bob. The family was so happy to have Jerard and the twin brother in their lives. You can just see the happiness in their faces when seeing them. Hopefully they will recover soon with the loss of Jerard.

“To Beth, Kurt and the kids and Ruth (2nd mom to Jerard, she adores him too) our deepest condolences to you guys”.

I went to the airport yesterday riding a jeepney.

My niece and I were sitting right across from each other. We were sitting just at the back of the jeepney driver because we knew that we were probably one of last people to get off the jeepney on that route.

We took the jeepney from Bajada, so it was quite a ways to Buhangin area. So the jeepney kept stopping, either to get passengers or let the passenger get off. Just then at the Bajada bridge just past Abreeza mall, 5 guys get in the jeepney. I did not notice that these people were together until somebody said later. 3 of them seated next to me, the other 2 were sitting across the other 3, just 2 people seated next to my niece.

The guy next to me keep moving and I felt uneasy. He keeps covering his hands with his backpack. I felt something was going on with the guy. I just felt that his hand was just so near to my cell phone. My cell phone at that time was inside my pocket, which could be an easy access for the guy to get. I took my cell phone off from my pocket and I was just holding it. I was also hugging my purse. Our jeepney was starting to get crowded already.

Jeepneys

After those guys got in the jeepney, next stop a lady got in, she had her purse and groceries with her. She was seated next to one of those 5 guys. Our jeepney kept going, then finally when we reached like 2 miles or so near the airport those 5 guys got off. Maybe like 3 minutes passed, by the lady that had the grocery bag became frantic and declaring that her cell phone was stolen. The older lady and her teenager kid were saying maybe one of those guys got your phone? They said they didn’t see it, but possibly. I think there were 6 of us that were left behind. So I told the lady to go to the police station and report the incident. I could see that she was really shaking. She said that she doesn’t know where to go because she’s not from here. I told here just ask the traffic enforcer that’s directing the traffic, and he would tell here where the police station was in the area. She decided to wait to report near where she’s staying because she knows some policemen there. Me and the other passengers just said okay then.

Beware of who is on the Jeepney

Right before riding the jeepney. Me and my niece were at the LBC shipping something. The cashier there told us that the day before we came, they had some incidents there. She had plenty of customers there and all of them where busy writing info on the papers and the cashier was busy encoding the info on to the computer. Apparently one of those customers put her bag down on the bench. The bench location was not far from the entrance door. I guess the customer had some expensive equipment that needed to ship and she was just filling out the paper for the shipping info. Nobody noticed that somebody took the bag. So the customer wanting to get the bag and to give to the cashier for shipment, the bag was gone. So the customer was really crying. The cashier said that the police was there at her office for awhile investigating. It’s kind of scary and annoying.

It’s really not normal to have here that kind of incident. I’m pretty sure the mayor and the vice mayor will not be happy hearing a lot of like that happening here. I’m still thinking that we are still safe here compared to other cities. I know when I was in Manila and Cebu before, I can’t even talked on my cell phone inside the jeepney, LRT or the bus. I had to hide my cell phone and I have to really hold my purse so tightly. My friend also told me not to wear any good jewelry. Unless we will be going to Makati area. I am still pretty secure living here in Davao City, even with some occasional incidents happening here.

I’m just warning everybody here that no matter where you are just don’t leave your stuff unattended. Lots of bad people nowadays. They just want to earn money the easy way. They don’t want to work extra hard. They just want to steal.  So just keep an eye always on your surroundings.

Stay Safe!!!

While I was eating my lunch the other day, I got a phone call on my cellphone. I noticed that its the Davao local number so I thought it was like a doctor or the Globe company for our DSL (our land line is Globe too). But thinking its Sunday so no establishments would be open then.

When I said hello, the lady on the other line then got excited and said my name. So I said yes this is Feyma. She then told me who she was and continued on saying this is Bebe your neighbor from Ridgefield, Washington. It clicked right away to me who she was. I can still remember her voice. Then we talked for a few minutes. She’s wanting me to come and see her right away at the hotel.

She said that she’s in the city for 2 days and will be back to Panabo where her family is really from. She got invited by her college classmates for a fiesta somewhere in Buhangin that night. She even wants me to go with her but I declined. After less than 30 minutes of preparing myself I went to the hotel where she was staying. Wow, we really did miss each other. We talked for a long time. Reminiscing the time when we were still living there. See, her daughter rode  at the same school bus as Chris when Chris was in grade school. The daughter still remembers Chris I think. I found out the daughter got married last year.

Feyma with her old friend Bebe

During the time I was in the States, this lady organized parties for all friends. Almost all the ladies happened to be Bisayan speaking. Some Tagalog speaking and from other places in the Philippines. It was really a fun party they always organized. They also come to our parties at our house too. I had friends that I knew when I first came to the States, we usually had a few parties during summer & Christmas time and one of those party would be at our house. I always invited the lady that I met up again yesterday and her group. That really started the blending in of my friends when I first came to the US and the Bisayan friends. Until now some of them still meet up. Some of them had their parents brought in the States from the PI were joining the parties too. I knew and met some of the parents. I found out yesterday some of those parents of our friends already passed away. It’s not really shocking to me on that. The shocking part when hearing that your friends kid or the husband passed away.

I found out yesterday that one of our friends, her son died. He was shot in the head at his house and the shooter is still unknown. I knew that kid when he was young. He’s been to our house for our usual gatherings. His mom sometimes caters food for our parties. I also met the grandma of that kid too. She also came to our house to party. She died a few years ago already. I am more sad of my friend that loses her son at a young age and still don’t know until now who killed him. I know she was really devastated by it. That kid died like 2 years ago, Bebe said that our friend still had lots of down moments. She’s still depressed by it. I think she will be like that for a long time.

I became close to Bebe when at one point I got a job at the place that she was working. One day she came to my house for a party and she told me that her company was looking for a worker and I should apply since that’s the field of the course I graduated from. I told her I would try,  don’t know if I would since I had 2 kids. Bob let me try to work there. I kind of liked it since its really my field. Going to work I rode with Bebe since she can just swing me by at my house, and she said it would be good and we can save for gas. I gave her money to compensate though. It was fun, there was Bebe, me and few girls in the car. I just worked there for 2 months. My kids needed me more. My supervisor didn’t like it that I quit. But he understands that I had to be home with my kids.

It was really fun talking to Bebe, it brings back all of the fun memories that we shared on our days in Ridgefield. Bebe told me that every time she passes by at our house, her and her husband talk about us, wondering what life do we have here in the PI. Her hubby said to her that “Bob and Feyma must like living in the Philippines because if not we would had already saw them back here.”  Her husband is a school bus driver now and his route and school district he was assigned to was the high school district not far from our house. So he always passes by at the house when driving the bus. Our house was just near the main road . The house of Bebe was just a corner away from the church we went there. I think where we lived there, there were almost like 10 Filipinas living  in the neighborhood. One of which was a contestant of Miss Philippines (during Gloria Diaz days), Binibining Pilipinas back in the day. She was married to a minister. I heard a long time ago from another friend that the husband died already.

Bebe will be coming to the our house today. She wants to see the kids and Bob. She’s excited to see my family again. She’s talking about the times when she saw Chris & AJ before in her party or at the parties at our house. She always thought that I had good looking kids. Will see what she will say when she will be seeing them now. It would be a shocker to her how tall the kids are now.

Anyway, good to see you again Bebe Z. I hope to see you and family next time you come here for a visit. I hope Don and Ellen and her hubby will be coming here too at that time. Have fun on your stay here. Have a safe and fun trip back home.  Hello to all my friends there as well!

Cheers!

Well, I’ve been meaning to write this article for a long time now. I’ve been hearing lots of expats when they get together all they talk (tsismis) about was the other expats that live here. I felt that if they say that the Pinoys have the crab mentality, so do a lot of the expats. I think they are more. Some are even vicious. Some of them are back biters (I know, not all of them). If they think that another expat is successful, then it ticks them off and they get so jealous.

They will then spread rumors and say untrue stuff. Good thing in the Philippines you could be in jail for slander. Most of these expats that I am talking about they claimed they had no money but almost everyday they eat out and they will be going bar hopping every night and getting drunk. How can they have no money when all they do is travel and explore?  And also how can they pay for hookers? But when they meet up with others at the end of the day the bitterness kicks in and say bad stuff  about other expats.

I’ve seen a lot too that they think they are way better than the local people about anything. They might be in some aspect, maybe they are more wiser and worldly. But the local also knows better how to live here comfortably of what they can have. But oh dear you’ve heard also how stupid the expats act sometimes here, that they make themselves look like a fool. I’ve been seeing some expats like that too.

Many Expats are green with envy

We had this friend who came here a few years ago. Bob really helped this fellow, answered his calls and texts. He would even be at the house for long hours of the day to talk to Bob. In some nights for almost a year he would call Bob up, he wants to talk to Bob because he said  he really was depressed and might be going insane. Of course we tried to be as helpful as we can for him, even though its already late at night we let him come to our house and we talked to him until the wee hours of the night. We don’t mind because we want to help him.

He needed help for his stay here and also where to go for the bank, I showed him what to do and where to go. Bob helped him out on something about the internet. He just had lots of questions on that department, and Bob was really willing to help him. Later when we saw that he was whining and complaining, we told him that maybe this might not be the perfect place for him. But he still wants to stay here. Still we  continue on helping him. Later we found out that he was talking behind our back, as if he felt that our help is not good enough. Really just reading on the stuff he’s writing I could tell and it showed that he is really a big SOB. I don’t care for him anymore.

He claimed to be a devoted Christian. A true follower of God would not do the stuff he did. He just a jealous kind of guy and so bitter about life. How could he be happy with others that he himself is not happy. He wanted to earn money here but because of his laziness he didn’t make any. He was blogging and Bob help him out of the stuff that might be helpful for him to blog. He still continues on blogging nonsense and it shows now his immaturity. If we meet up again I’m going to tell him to strive hard in life instead of just so jealous of the works of others. His bitterness will never get him anywhere. He should just stop whining and griping. Be happy in life. If he can’t be happy here just go home to the place where you came from. Really I wanted to say more to him but I have to refrain myself though.

We also had this friend a few years back. We were still new here in Davao at that time too. He was renting a house here and at first he was okay. He was telling us that he was jealous of Bob and I been married for a long time. We didn’t know at first of the life that he wanted to have. He just wants to have fun here, not really looking for a good wife… Few months later of being our friend he then was telling us all the rendezvous he was having. He had a few girls in his apartment and he was so proud in saying the multiple girls he had in one night. I thought he was just joking because he was over the age I thought. But then another friend confirmed of the guys activity. One day we saw him and we had lunch with him and he was just so proud that he was having sex with his helper. After hearing from other people of the guys over enjoyment here we decided not to be friends with him anymore. We don’t want to get involved with his over enjoyment here. I am not sure though if he still living here. I hope he went home to where he came from. He was even so proud in telling to other expats here about him traveling to  Mexico before for multiple sex he said.

Be careful also when talking to some expats, some words just meant different to them (language barrier i guess). A few years back Bob just said the words “I’m going to be totally and brutally honest to you”. The guy that Bob was talking to, he thought that bob would hit him, because of the word brutally. He meant physical then. Wow what a word made a difference. We were caught off guard on that and tried to be careful in using that word to other foreign friends then. Or at least asked them about it.

I know that it’s going to be so difficult in adjusting to the life of the place that you are not accustomed to, but please don’t use others for that. Try to be happy here and try to blend in with the locals. As we always said try to learn even just the basic language of where you live. The locals will then be happy that you tried. Please avoid making comments or making gossip. Making up stories about someone can bring you to jail here. And everyone knows that jail is not going to be a good place for you here. We all know that the jail here were so totally different from the West. No privileges for the prisoners here. No TV and no gym here. I’m not even sure if our jails here have a library. So be very careful!

Instead of being jealous of others, try to make yourself busy with good stuff. Try to help out the poor instead. Give food to the homeless, give up the few beers a night. It will make you happy later seeing those smile of the kids!

“Jealousy” try to make it more fun in the Philippines then. We have plenty of those here….

Mabuhay!