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Thinking differently!!!

A few days ago I went to Nicole’s classmates house. I went there to ask some questions from the mother of her classmate. I guess one day last week Nicole had no class because the class coordinator had some meeting to attend to. He told his students that they can go to school the next day, just go to the other section and stay there for the class, but they’re not obliged to do it. Just a few students showed up at all. One of them was Nicole, our youngest daughter. Well, I guess instead of attending the class Nicole our daughter and her classmates decided that they would rather go to one of their classmates house, whose house was just walking distance from the school.

Nicole with DJ

Nicole with DJ

The problem on that situation. We have rules in the house that whenever the kids go somewhere they have to inform us where they will be going. That’s why everyone in the house has cell phone. If cell phone is dead, they can go to the office in school to call from their land line phone there to our phone in the house. Or use a pay phone. So Nicole had a problem, she went somewhere and she did not inform us. So a few days ago I went to the house where Nicole went. I want to know the parents of that kid and we want them knowing us too. Nicole can also invite classmates to our house sometimes, but we want the parents’ approval.

So when we went to the house (me, my niece and Nicole). I asked to see the mom of Nicole’s classmate. I guess she went somewhere and would be back in a short while, which she did after awhile. The person there at the house was the grandmother. I guess she usually takes care of the kids sometimes since they were living in the same house. She could tell on my face that I had some concerned. Just then the mom showed up. So I talked to the mom in-front of the grandmother. Honestly they’re nice people but we just had different views in life. When I told them about my concern for Nicole. My statement: “Just asking did Nicole come here a few days ago? My husband and I don’t have problem with our kids going to their classmates house, only thing they have to inform us and let us know where they’re going to and whose house and who are the people in the house? Also is it okay for the parents for them to be there?”. The reply of the grandmother to me – “it’s okay they came here no problem since its just a walking distance from school anyway. Also they’re just kids they want to hang out where they want to hang out.” I told her it’s not okay for us. Nicole has to inform us first before going anywhere. She has to follow what she was told.

The mom of Nicole’s classmate  told me that her daughter did the same thing. Went to her classmate without permission. She said they had to close their shop (store) to get their daughter. I told her the concern that she’s feeling when her daughter went without asking her, that’s how Bob & I felt. So I know she understood how Bob & I reacted. But I could tell that the grandmother thinks that I over reacted. I felt she thinks that I should let Nicole go somewhere without telling us since she’s just hanging out with her friends. I told her anything could happened on the way to there house. Nicole could have an accident while walking there. So many jeepneys passing by on the way to there house. I continue on telling her that Nicole is 10 years old. We will guide her and show her that being a concerned parent show her that we love her so much. To be honest Bob and I will continue what the rules we have here in the house.

I’ve seen parents here let their kids be out late at night during school days. Bob & I don’t want our kids (that goes to school) to be partying or hanging out with their friends during weekdays. Our students here at the house have a curfew. Our 2 teens (Aaron & Jean) now are allowed to hang out during night time with their friends during weekdays here at the house as long as they toned down their voices when our other kids (the students) are in bed.

Like Bob told me after talking what happened. We don’t give rules to other kids. But we let our kids know that we have rules to be followed here in the house. It’s just simple and easy. We let them go somewhere with their friends as long as we know where their going. Bob & I even encouraged them to bring their friends here at home. Sometimes they eat dinner here. No problem. We know the feeling, we’ve been students before too.

Anyway, Nicole knows now that she has to follow the rules and she learned her lesson. I think. :-) Hopefully she will not be influenced by her friends. We don’t want to be too strict too.

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A simple and important reminder!

I am writing here just a bit of a reminder to the anyone (foreigners or Filipinos that live abroad for a long time) that wanted to retire here in the Philippines. When we moved back here Bob and I had already been coming here many times for a visit. Bob’s been to some 5 star hotels and to lower end hotels here in Manila, Cebu, Davao, and GenSan. And, of course to my family’s house. Bugs and cockroach and mice were pretty much present in all of these places here in the Philippines. So seeing those critters was not really new to him. Bob doesn’t like it but we can’t just let those bugs spoil our vacation here. All those bugs are pretty common to majority of the households here in the Philippines. So don’t be surprised upon seeing one. I will tell you guys some of our experiences from before and after moving here:

One time when were visiting here with Chris and Aaron. Between the two boys, Aaron was the one having a hard time seeing flies around my mom’s house. We came here during fruit season. So many flies flying then. He’s always carrying bug spray with him around the house. Just for a few days he was ready to head home to the States.

Butiki - A Philippine House Lizard

Butiki – A Philippine House Lizard

Then there was one time when Bob’s mom came here for the first time to visit. She stayed with us. She’s staying in one of the bedrooms at our house. After she said goodnight to us and she went to bed just like minutes after she was screaming at the top of her lungs. My gosh, all of us were jumping out of bed and running towards her room. She pointed to the culprit – my gosh a 2 inch lizard on the ceiling. It was funny for us but really looking at mom it really terrified her. So Bob just explained to her that here in the tropics expect those kind of things. She understands but no more sleeping in the dark, she has to have  a night light during night time to know whats creeping in during her sleep. LOL

One of our vacation here that was in 1994, our visit for my dad’s first death anniversary. Bob and I promised my mom that we would be here in the Philippines for that since I was unable to come home for his funeral. When we came for a visit, our last lay over was in Cebu. And in Cebu, Bob and I usually stayed in Montebello Villa Hotel. We arrived so late in the night and our flight the next morning was really early. So the taxi driver was recommending these hotels in Mactan area. Bob told him that we really want Montebello because it’s nice and we’re used to that hotel already. The taxi driver said oh the hotel here in Mactan it’s nice too, the only difference with Montebello, they don’t have a swimming pool. We then agreed with him and headed to the hotel that the taxi driver recommended. Let me tell you, its not the same and can’t even compare. But we’re so exhausted and so tired to get out. Plus, Chris was sick already, he had fever ever since our flight from Hawaii. So Bob ordered room service, as soon as the food was brought inside our room after the waiter left, we could hear some noises on our roof. Bob and I just stare at each other and observed. Boy, as the food stayed in the room longer the more the noises were getting louder. My God as if the rats were having fiesta on our ceiling. You know what none of us touched the food. We just put the food outside our door and just went to bed. The rats went quiet after the food was gone from our room. We’re too tired to think about it. We had to sleep or we might miss our flight the next morning.

Just try to visit the public market here. You will see rats as big as the cat running around. I’m sure lots of cockroaches crawling around and flies buzzing around too. That’s just the way it is here in the tropics. I wished to God it was changed a lifetime ago, but it’s not. But this is the tropics we have to deal with it. You know what I mean? Think a thousand times before moving to the place that you’re not familiar with. So that you will not be sorry later.

***Hey don’t take me wrong we also have areas that’s clean too. If you’re a clean freak try shopping your food at the high end malls. Always have pest control services in your house and let them check every corner of your house.***

—- “Don’t be scared, exterminate them”—–

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The new update on my old post here!

A little over 2 years ago I posted a story (The unexpected company) of these 2 young girls named Arnie & Irish who were at our gate asking for our recyclable plastic bottles. My kids not only gave them the plastic bottles, they also fed those kids. We even brought those kids to the dentist. So lucky that we have a very generous dentist named Dr. Lourdes.

Anyway, a month or two ago my kids and my niece told me that the mom of Arnie & Irish had another baby. I just said “really”? To be honest what can I say. Arnie the oldest girl was kind of embarrassed seeing my kids and that they had another baby. But Irish was the talker and blabbed about they had a brand new baby. When my kids asked them where’s their mom? Irish said that their mom was working again to be a laundry lady not long after giving birth. She has to help the husband make some money. The husband’s job, he gathers plastic bottles and cardboard boxes for recycle and sells them.

Arnie & Irish

Arnie & Irish

A week or so ago. I was outside with my kids. We were cleaning our front yard cutting the grass in front. The oldest brother of Arnie came to us. He knows that we don’t know him. He really introduced himself that he was the older brother of Arnie & Irish. He told us that he is getting the fish in the canal in our area. So we asked him are you guys eating those fish? He said “NO”, he is selling those to like owners of a coi pond.

Really seeing him really makes us miss those 2 girls. Arnie really is embarrassed to swing by at our house now after their father got mad at their mom. He was so jealous that his wife comes home just a little after dark to finish up her laundry job here at the house. He was accusing his wife of having somebody. It was getting ridiculous that I told the mom of those kids to tell the husband that “She will not be working here if he had job to support them”. Honestly I don’t even need her here at the house. I already had a laundry lady, but I just want to give her a job instead of handing her the money.

I don’t think the oldest kid is in school now. They used to be in school before. But I think their kids now had to help their parents make money and take care of the younger siblings. Some people here let their kids even the 9 year old kid take care of the younger siblings at that age. The parents sometimes will ask the neighbor to keep an eye on their kids while they go to work. Lucky for our laundry lady, she had her parents and siblings near her house that her mom takes care of her kids while she’s working for us or her other jobs.

I’m still hoping for the best for Arnie & Irish family. Hopefully at the end they will just move to the province since the mom’s family had a small farm land there anyway. I think the wife wants to move but the husband likes to live in the city. In my opinion it will be good for them to be there and they will grow their own food. Crossing my finger.

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A personal note!

I’m writing and sharing about our personal life story of Bob and myself. It’s almost time for our 24th year wedding anniversary. I was just pondering what to write this week, and it hits me while getting something in Bob’s wallet. He wants me to check on something for him and I had to get his id (driver’s license). Something fell out of his wallet, it was behind his driver’s license. When I picked it up, I remembered that Bob had his reminder of our first meeting.

“It’s his boarding pass from his flight from Manila to Cebu” to meet me for the first time.

Bob's Boarding Pass from Manila to Cebu - July 26, 1990

Bob’s Boarding Pass from Manila to Cebu – July 26, 1990

Wow, as I was staring at the boarding pass, its just so worn out. It showed the time that it stayed in Bob’s wallet. It was there for 24 years already. No matter how many times Bob changed wallets over the course of our marriage that boarding pass remained in his wallet. Looking at it as if it’s just nothing but for Bob it’s really important to him. For me; It really showed how he loved and valued me. For the kids; They think it’s a sweet gesture of their dad to their mom. It will be in that wallet forever, I’m pretty sure of that.

I gave Bob a Tagalog-English dictionary upon meeting him for the first time. I was thinking at that time that he should learn the Tagalog instead of Bisaya since Tagalog is taught in school and spoken in the main island. He still has that dictionary and he lets the kids use it for school. They had to promise that they will take care of it. Really, Bob rarely opened that dictionary since my parents never spoken to him in Tagalog. At that time it’s hard to find a Bisaya- English dictionary or Bisaya-Tagalog-English dictionary unlike now that they’re all over bookstore and the internet. So thankful now that he did learn our local dialect. So proud of him for that.

At another wedding in 2006
On our wedding day - 1990

I was graduating in college when I met him. Bob gave me a Sony Walkman when we first met. One of our regular phone conversation I was talking to him about my project with my classmates, it’s sound systems with bunch of LED’s and with walkman. It was really hectic schedule for me being graduating and with my on job training and the touring of the radio stations. My teachers were just happy that I made it through being the only girl in class out of 200 students.

I took 2 weeks off from school when Bob came. I talked to all my teachers that I would be in GenSan for the entire time. I took exams later when I get back from Gensan. My classmates didn’t know that I am marrying Bob. They just thought I went home to be with my parents. But my teachers they knew though. Luckily they didn’t make a big fuss about it. LOL.

To you my Wonderful Husband : Honey, Wow 24th year of marriage. I’m so grateful for your love for me and our kids. So happy for the time we’ve shared. Thank you too for being so kind to my parents before they passed, you really showed you loved them. Thank you for the wonderful years. We’ve been through a lot but we managed to be strong and talked it through. I love you so much. I thank God for you!!!

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Traffic in Davao City!

Lately it’s so traffic here in Davao City. If you go to the downtown area coming from Matina it will take a while to get there especially if you’re going through the Bankerohan area. Right now the city has been working on the Bankerohan bridge for over a month now. I’ve heard it will go on for a long time. Geez, going through in that area in the morning and in the afternoon (rush hour times) it’s definitely not a  fun drive, an excruciating headache I know that for sure. :-)

A few weeks ago me and my niece went through there at Bankerohan on our way to downtown. Usually we go through the other side, at the SM Ecoland at Quimpo Boulevard area. Problem is we had to swing by at some other place in Bankerohan. So we decided that we will just ride the jeepney to Bankerohan, it’s not that far from NCCC Mall anyway. So off we went. My goodness we’re not yet halfway to Banke just around the UM Matina college we noticed that the jeepneys barely moved. I think we were stuck in the traffic for over 30 minutes not even moving. I told my niece it might be better for us to just walk than just sitting in the jeepney. So off we went and started walking. Other passengers on the other jeepneys started walking too. So many people walking and its kind of fun watching other people walking and talking to us. It really reminds me of my time living in Manila in the late 80′s. Traffic there was horrible its bumper to bumper. But, I got used to it later.

Bankerohan Bridge Repair

Bankerohan Bridge Repair

Like 30-45 minutes later we head back towards NCCC again. My niece she did remember the plate number and the driver of our jeepney. He was still there in the traffic. No more passengers on his jeepney though, they already went walking crossing the bridge. Lot’s of those drivers they were complaining that they earned less money now. It’s hard hearing from them that they’re having a hard time. People tend to walk now instead of riding. It used to be people rides jeepney even if its just a short distance away. Now with the traffic, much better to walk than ride.

Bankerohan is already bad enough for the traffic jam, sometimes at the other side at Quimpo its bad traffic too. One time they were also working on the bridge there. Plus if there’s something going on that Agro grounds near the bridge the traffic is also unbelievable. The only way to go to the town without traffic jam would be at the Maa road to San Rafael out in Marfori. Or From Maa to Diversion road, lots of exit there to go to town.

Just a month ago it was on the news here that Davao might have a light rail transportation soon. Hopefully it will go through. Only thing it  means more traffic that the Davaoeno will endure. It’s going to be longer time than what we are going through right now. Really I am feeling sorry for the students and the people that work. Luckily our house is not far from our kids school. Our niece who goes to college and had to go through the bridge, she goes to school a little early now. Sometimes she had to walk across the bridge.

Thank goodness we have 2 malls and S & R near our house. So that I don’t have to go to the other side of town constantly. Well, to you guys just have patience right now. I know it’s not easy but nothing we can do about it.

Cheers!

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