Can we all get along!

July 25, 2013 by feyma

Can we all get along!

I was talking to an old friend. We were trying to reminisce our good memories of our lives when we used to live in the States. We’ve known each other during our time of getting the visa days in Manila. We’ve met there at the US Embassy office over 22 years ago now. We really became good friends ever since then. Reminiscing the waiting at the early hours for the US Embassy office to finally open, wanting to be the first in line. Ha ha ha.. No matter how early me and my sister went there we usually be on the 5th or so in line. But oh well, still happy to be one of the first few people that will enter the place.

What a chaotic place that was when it opened. We had a joke before that when entering the embassy, it felt like entering the public market here in the Philippines. Too noisy. Lol. I’m pretty sure they might be controlled better now, since some of the other transactions were done online. One sample alone was the getting of the visa. During our time we had to go back to the embassy a few days after the interview and get the visa ourselves. Nowadays, they will just mail it to you directly to the address you’ve provided for them to be sent to. More convenient and no hassles of waiting outside the gate and inside the office.

My friend was telling me about her experience in the area where she’s living now. Her and her Pinay friends were so divided just because of gossip and jealousy. My friend, she’s successful talking about financially and her family life. She just had better life than some of the Pinays there in her area. Well, some of her jealous friend spread rumors that’s not even true about her, she just didn’t do anything because she told me that she had better things to do than to think about those jealous girls. That’s the better approach to that I think, just leave it and later the issue will just die down. That’s what I would do too if I were in her shoes. Most of the gossip girls just don’t have something to do in life other than watch other people’s lives. They might be imitating the soap opera or the teleserye on TFC.

I saw a lot of it here too. It’s just not the Filipinos do that kind of thing, I saw and heard expats too. It’s just human nature to get jealous of the success of others. Some know how to control their jealousy, some just plain anger and jealousy that they can’t sleep without destroying other people. It’s just so crazy to think, but it happens. Some were even killing just over jealousy and gossip. It’s just not worth it. The “Crab mentality” is really present not just in the Philippines but all over the world.

Just like my friend was telling me, she was just letting someone borrow something from her. Then she forgot that the other friend had it for a long time. When time for her to use it, she remembered that the friend had it. She then asked the stuff that was borrowed to be returned. The friend was furious because the friend claimed she own the stuff since she had it for a long time. WOW, the friend had the guts to be mad and to think she’s the one that borrowed something. I can’t believed it that my friend was punished for being nice and trying to help out.

At the end she was blamed that its her fault that the friendship was falling apart. No friendship would fall apart if the friend just return the stuff and just say thank you and sorry that it was not return right away and friendship would flourish. Instead the friend just spread rumors and gossip and she even involved other friends. Even her kids she involved them too, which is really ridiculous and crazy for me.

Living with jealousy and anger will not get her life better. My friend is wishing for a happy and peace of mind for her friend. That she should live life to the fullest instead of bitterness.

Mabuhay!

April 5, 2012 by feyma

Strange phone call

Yesterday I got a phone call while cooking breakfast for Bob.

It was really early in the morning. It was just me and Bob who were up. I thought it was an inquiry from the email about some land. I thought it was an overseas call because it was too early for people from here. The call was on my cell phone.

When I said hello, there was a lady asking me who I was? I told her you’re the one that’s calling me, I continue on saying may I know whose on the line please?

Then she asked me do you know Mr. so and so? I was trying to think and tried to remember the name, I told her I vaguely remember the name. I said why? She then said because you’re name is on his skype.

Ah what?

I asked her more if her man emailed me on LiP or about travel in Mindanao or Davao or about Samal? She can’t even answer me.

Hello, who are you?

I was gonna tell her hmm, that’s strange because the only person that knows my skype is Bob. I never gave my skype account to anybody since I never use it. Why would I need skype we have Vonage? We just cut off our Vonage not that long ago. I had another option too if I don’t used vonage my pc was hooked to Bob’s skype account anyway. I like to use Vonage because I can just dial just like a regular phone line. When we didn’t have the vVonage I never used the skype on my pc.

Anyway, I think she saw my number on her husband or boyfriend’s pc or cell phone and tried to dial my number to make sure I’m not the second lady in line.

Holy molly, I don’t really need a jealous wife/girlfriend calling me. Early in the morning it already ruined my day. My goodness by the sound of her voice she’s way younger than me. She should have the confidence with her man not to stray away with other women. I don’t even remember if I communicated with her partner/husband. Geez, I wonder if he inquired from me a condo, a house or a land. I have to dig in through all my emails again.

Living here for over 10 years now, I’ve experienced a lot, I’ve meet too many ladies I thought that could be my friend. But they later tell their boyfriend/husband that they can’t hang out with me because of our age difference. They just don’t want it, their reason I am too old to be their friend they say. I just laugh it off because if they say I am too old for them to be their friend, but look whose talking, their boyfriend or husband is 20 years older than I am! I never had anything against any ladies that were married to older men. A lot of my friends in the States before that I hang out with they were married to older men and we don’t have any problem. But my goodness if they are talking bad about our age difference to be my friend I find it to be odd. I’m not sure if I am too boring for them, I don’t go out during night time. For me and Bob, that’s the time we spent with our kids. See we just like to go out meet people around lunch time. Maybe some of the ladies might still be in bed though. Maybe we are on different time zone. ha ha ha. :-). One thing with me and Bob’s relationship – we trust each other. Well, we would not be married this long if we did not. He can go anywhere without me. I can go anywhere without him. I don’t have to have someone to be with him, same for me. Lots of friends that I know they will have their brother or cousins to guard their husband. Oh well to each his own I guess.

Honestly a friend of ours told me before that his girlfriend, who was really young, in her teens. She confess to our friend that I was a threat. I really speak my mind and I can communicate well. She really had problem with me because her man asked advice from me about money matters. Her boyfriend just didn’t trust her when it comes to money. Of course she’s too young to know how to handle money. All she wants is spent it. She didn’t even knows how much her boyfriend was worth but Bob and I knew. Same stories with our other friends. The lists goes on and on.

Cheers!

March 22, 2012 by feyma

Our maid’s education!

I’ve known for awhile now that our helper (Mel) has a hard time reading and understanding what she does read. I’m trying to observe her without her knowing, I don’t want to embarrass her. My nieces told me that they are helping Mel on how to read during night time before she goes to bed. They also help her try to understand what the story she’s reading is all about. I was shocked of how little knowledge she had of everything. It’s just heartbreaking that she didn’t have much schooling. How could she get ahead in life without some knowledge.

Flashcards

A week or so ago I was at our kitchen cooking. I was asking Mel about her baby and how old is her baby now? She told me that her little one is turning 1 year old soon. I then remembered hearing from my nieces that Mel had a hard time on understanding reading with just simple books. It just hit me to let her say the months of the year for me, it was just me and her in the kitchen anyway. My mouth just drop when she can’t even tell me the months of the year in proper order. I asked her of what year she finished up in her education? What grade level is she? She told me that she was in the middle of her freshman year when she quit school. I told her, I wanted her to try to study with the kids during night time. I am going to give her reading books for grade school level (lower level really like 3rd grade). I’m not trying to be mean to Mel, I just wanted for her to learn a little at a time. She showed some interest in cooking with me in the kitchen. She wants to learn how to cook Western foods. She likes making dessert too. So for now she’s learning the names of the ingredients and the names of the utensils/tools in the kitchen. She has to learn the measurements too. Really almost everything in the kitchen are new to her. It’s fun and challenging on teaching her. My patience is tested sometimes.

I asked Mel why is it that she didn’t know a lot about schooling? How did she get to freshman with the little knowledge she had. Just by listening to her, her grade level should be in the early grade school level. She told me that when she went to school, she’s mostly absent from the class. Reason she said was that they don’t have money for food everyday and for her projects. So she decided to quit and just work part time as a waitress. The money can’t really sustain because she’s also paying for her boarding house and food and gave some to her parents. While working she found a guy who frequently went to the restaurant where she worked and they dated and he made her pregnant. The parents were really devastated with that. So for now the parents let Mel work while they take care of the baby. They’ve been really good about it, even her brother helped her out with the expenses of the baby. They asked the father of the baby, I think he is giving if he can. He is out of a job now.

Mel wants to go back to school later to finish up even just high school. That’s one thing my nieces like about Mel, she really is willing to learn. She’s kind of slow but at least she shows them the willingness to learn from them. My niece Bebe made flash cards to help Mel out with the words and meanings, just simple basic words. I would really be happy if in a year or so Mel can fully help me out in the kitchen with no supervision. Her parents will be so happy too. Hopefully she can do it. We will try to help her out on that.

I know we have lots of people like Mel here in the Philippines. Sad part they are going to be married young and the cycle keeps going on and on. It never stops. Hope later on they will learn some lessons.

Cheers!